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my name is katie and i'm pretty lame
my bf: *doesnt reply*

me: [fuck this, I can do so much better than this ashy ass bitch. what am I supposed to do with some lil dick for the rest of my life anyways??? let me call his best friend MATTER OF FACT LET ME CALL HIS BROTHER. he’s not even that cute for me to be stressing over him. only reason I dated him is cause my girl told me to give his lil ugly ass a chance I'm over it tho, next! ha ha!]
my bf: my bad I had to pee. 

me: I thought you did! wassup babe 😍😛

lamelohan:

teacher: why didnt you do your homework last night??

me: im trying to save my virginity till i get out of high school sorry

gnarly:

Do you ever just hate someone bc they remind you of yourself

When you do something embarrassing in front of people

image

kushdrinker:

it must get annoying living in the south with all those banjos constantly playing 

Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
Me: Oh ok cool
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: This is a febreze commercial right
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

vorfreudde:

Remember back in 5th grade, when everyone vowed not to ever do drugs

xons:

do u ever smell weed and wonder where that chill person is

killbenedictcumberbatch:

i asked this question in 2011 and after three years i was nowhere near prepared for this answer

killbenedictcumberbatch:

i asked this question in 2011 and after three years i was nowhere near prepared for this answer